I’m Back January 10, 2009

Hi, I know I’ve been gone for ages, I decided kind of all of a sudden that I wanted to move back to Portland, so now I’m living with my parents and working a crappy minimum wage job, but I’m still pretty sure that I made the right decision. And I’ve decided to start writing things down again (but it’s not a new year’s resolution, because I don’t believe in those, at least not in January).

Also, I joined OKCupid, which is a dating site, and so far pretty cool (it’s free, and they use math to determine who you should date). It’s actually a pretty cool concept, they have a bunch of questions, about all sorts of stuff and you answer them, then tell them what your ideal match would answer, and how important it is to you. Then they compare your answers with other people’s to come up with a percentage of how well you should get along with them. Anyway, the people on it seem pretty cool, I’ve met two people so far, and I have a karaoke date for tonight and a drinks date for Tuesday. I’ll let you know how they go, and also tell you about the other guy I’ve met later.

Right now though I’m trying to figure out what exactly I want from a relationship, so I figured it might help to try and put it on paper. (So to speak.)

I want a cute, smart boy who I can hang out on the weekends with, and sometimes during the week. I want decent conversation and crazy hot sex. I want to feel like he really likes me and I don’t have to chase him all the time. (Analysis of past relationships has shown that only one (or 25%) have been more into me than I was into them. Which explains why I went out with him, even though I didn’t actually like him that much.) I don’t want to have to be in constant contact with him, no daily e-mails or long nightly phone conversations. I don’t want him to be hurt that I’m probably going to lie about him to my mother. I really don’t want clingy, or a doormat. My sister says that when boys really like you they’ll do whatever you tell them to, I want someone with a little more spine than that.  So that’s my wish list, it doesn’t sound like so much, right? Anyway, I need to shower and think of first date appropriate karaoke songs. Wish me luck.

Thoughts I had while watching The Emmys (in roughly chronological order) September 22, 2008

So I will be writing a real post soon, full of excuses and explanations and pictures of cute boys, but since I watched all three hours of Emmy coverage tonight I had some extra thoughts, and I thought I’d share them with you.

• Wait, really Oprah?  Wow, really Oprah.
• Wow, these guys are really boring, is Lee Pace going to be presenting anything?  I don’t know, but if Pushing Daisies wins anything they’ll cut to him.  That’s enough reason to keep watching.
• Hedi Klum looks good in a suit.
• Less good in that spangled shorts jumpsuit.
• They should get Rickey Gervais to host, he’s the only funny bit so far.  (At all in fact.)
• Do you think he’s really off script?  Everyone always says they’re not reading off the teleprompter, but maybe that’s just what the teleprompter is telling them to say.
• Pushing Daisies won for something! (Best director?)  I should stop being totally obsessed with him, but he’s wearing a bow tie.  Is he dating Kristen Chenowith?  Who’s that girl sitting on the other side of him?
• Seriously, stop cutting to Tom Hanks.
• Isn’t Lily Tomlin dead?  No, I guess I’m thinking of that other girl from SNL.
• Wait, Charlton Heston died?
• Random cut to Lee Pace!
• I love the Mary Tyler Moore theme song.  She kind of looks like Carol Burnett now.  Wait, her earrings are giant bronze safety pins, awesome.  What is going on with her arms?  They are scaring me.  They’re not flabby, they’re kind of muscled, but they look all alien and wrong.  She’s too skinny!  Mary Tyler Moore, eat a sandwich!  Maybe two!
• You could tell any girl with glasses that she looks like Tina Fay, even if she knows you’re lying she’ll be flattered.  She’s like smart girl catnip.
• Yay The Amazing Race!  Wait, why is the Aussie guy with the eyebrows not nominated for reality show host?  Phil, why don’t they love you?
• I like Kate Walsh’s hair like that.  She’s so pretty.
• Ok, Lauren Conrad and David Boreanaz?  Man, he looks like he is going to call his agent as soon as he’s off stage, his internal monologue is all “Her? Really? Someone is going to explain this to me. And then get fired”.
• Neil Patrick Harris!  Wait, where did he go?
• Hey, that redhead from Mad Men is pretty.  No not the skinny girl in white, go back.  They’re on stage now, but all I can see is her cleavage.  That green dress looks great though.
• Oh, Laurence Fishburn was in the audience because he’s presenting.  I kind of like the orange suit, but it’s really close to matching the background.  Since the background is a giant tv screen you’d think this could have been avoided.
• And it’s over. Did I watch three hours of television just so I could see fifteen seconds of Lee Pace?  Yes I did.  Was it worth it? Totally (did I mention he was in a tux?)

Not Making a Lot of Sense, Sorry August 3, 2008

Hi.  So, I’ve been avoiding you, sorry about that.  But I’m supposed to do a book review for here, which I (clearly) have not done and *spoiler alert* I totally hated it, which makes it hard to review, which only makes me hate it more.  It’s a vicious cycle.  Also, July was not my best month.  My life right now is a total mess, every single area of my life, starting with my hair and moving on to everything else, is falling apart (although not literally, even in the case of my hair).  And I know I’m probably not making much sense, but I’m freaking out right now and I really don’t know what I’m going to do.  I’m not even sure what I should do, except find a job, but there’s the SAG thing, and I don’t even know.  Plus, I’ve started exercising, which is supposed to make you feel better, but it turns out that when I wasn’t exercising because I thought I didn’t like it, I was totally right.  So now I’m exercising, which I totally hate, but I hate giving up more, plus it turns out that I’m totally weak, and I want to be able to pick up heavy shit, so I’m going to keep doing it.  But I’m not going to like it!  Also I tried to make sourdough starter, but it got all weird, to the point where the internet could not even tell me what was going on.  So I’m trying again, but it looks like the same thing is happening, and since I don’t know what I did wrong I might just have to give up on the sourdough thing for now.  But I did make some really beautiful white bread in the bread pan my sister got me for my birthday.  (My mom got me bread pans for Christmas, but they are unnaturally big, so my sister got me a normal sized one.)  Also, sorry if there are an unusual number of typos here, the spell-check method seems to have changed, and I’m not 100% I’ve got it figured out.  PPS. Did you all watch Dr. Horrible?  Was it not the awesome?  Turns out you can still watch it for free online!  (In addition to downloading it from itunes.)  This is yay because I’ve been listing to a bootleg version of the soundtrack, and really wanting to watch it again, but I am totally broke (more so than usual).  So yeah, I will try to be less avoidant, but no promises, sorry.

Not Making a Lot of Sense, Sorry. August 2, 2008

Hi.  So, I’ve been avoiding you, sorry about that.  But I’m supposed to do a book review for here, which I (clearly) have not done and *spoiler alert* I totally hated it, which makes it hard to review, which only makes me hate it more.  It’s a vicious cycle.  Also, July was not my best month.  My life right now is a total mess, every single area of my life, starting with my hair and moving on to everything else, is falling apart (although not literally, even in the case of my hair).  And I know I’m probably not making much sense, but I’m freaking out right now and I really don’t know what I’m going to do.  I’m not even sure what I should do, except find a job, but there’s the SAG thing, and I don’t even know.  Plus, I’ve started exercising, which is supposed to make you feel better, but it turns out that when I wasn’t exercising because I thought I didn’t like it, I was totally right.  So now I’m exercising, which I totally hate, but I hate giving up more, plus it turns out that I’m totally weak, and I want to be able to pick up heavy shit, so I’m going to keep doing it.  But I’m not going to like it!  Also I tried to make sourdough starter, but it got all weird, to the point where the internet could not even tell me what was going on.  So I’m trying again, but it looks like the same thing is happening, and since I don’t know what I did wrong I might just have to give up on the sourdough thing for now.  But I did make some really beautiful white bread in the bread pan my sister got me for my birthday.  (My mom got me bread pans for Christmas, but they are unnaturally big, so my sister got me a normal sized one.)  Also, sorry if there are an unusual number of typos here, the spell-check method seems to have changed, and I’m not 100% I’ve got it figured out.  PPS. Did you all watch Dr. Horrible? Was it not the awesome?  Also, it turns out that, in addition to downloading it from itunes, you can still watch it for free online!  Which makes me happy because I’ve been listing to a bootleg version of the soundtrack and I really want to watch it again.  And I am totally broke.  More so than usual even.  So yeah, I’ll try not to be so avoidant, but I can’t make any promises right now.

Joss Whedon Is Amazing July 8, 2008

So, finally getting around to posting the teaser trailer for Joss Whedon’s online mini-musical (in three parts) Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog:

Teaser from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo..
(OK, clearly I could not get it to embed (curse you WordPress, now I know why everyone else uses Blogger) but you should totally click on the link, I promise you it’s worth it.)

Yes, that’s Nathan Fillion beating up on Neil Patrick Harris. No I don’t see how this could be any more awesome (unless there was a cameo by Kristen Bell).

In related news, I’m still totally excited about Dollhouse (although not entirely sure if I’ve blogged about it yet or not) not least because there hasn’t been a character named “Echo” on TV since they killed off Mr. Eko on Lost. I was also sad when I realized (after his death) that although he sounds like my husband, I could not actually marry him, because that would make my name Echo Eko, which is totally unacceptable. I am also excited about the super hotness and total ass-kickingness of Helo and Faith (far left and center below).

The Cast of Dollhouse, via zap2it.com

Although, based on this picture the other two “dolls” (you can tell because they’re not wearing shoes) are kind of funny looking, especially the guy. Also, before he was cast in this, when I was watching the credits on BSG I always thought the actor playing Helo (Tahmoh Penikett) was one of the girls. (I think I thought he was Dualla, who it turns out was played by the actor I thought was playing Cally. What happened to Dualla anyway, did she die and I just don’t remember it? That would be sad because I really liked her before she got married to Lee and got sucked into his black hole of whinyness. (I also am still not caught up, so if she turns out to be the final cylon or something, please do not tell me, thank you.)

Also, I was looking around on the FOX website, trying to find a trailer or something for Dollhouse, which clearly I didn’t, but their site is kind of sketchy and surprisingly low on content, also very dark. Was it always like that, do they just keep all the stuff on the show pages? I don’t know, anyway.

I am also starting to really miss the shows that never came back on the air after the strike, even the ones that I only watched regularly, not obsessively (Chuck, Private Practice, where did you go?). Anyway, my brain is (clearly) kind of scattered today, so I am going to go and make my annual Excel time-slot conflict spreadsheet (factors include, how committed I am to the show, and whether it is available online).

My New TV Crush July 3, 2008

So, I’ve been watching this summer show called The Middleman, and after Monday’s episode (#3) I think I’m totally falling in love with it. Then in my car today, I realized that if it was a person, and not a television show, The Middleman would totally be my ideal guy. It’s smart and funny, overly verbal, kind of retro, and full of pop culture references (not all of which I get). It’s kind of geeky (it is based on a comic book), very silly, and not afraid to make fun of itself. Plus it’s full of bright colors and big shiny toys. And of course it has the pretty:

Matt Keeslar and Natalie Morales in The Middleman (There’s a reason one of his nicknames is “Sexy boss-man”)

I was downloading it (illegally, shh!), but you can actually watch it for free on ABC Family’s website, which I’m going to start doing so they can count me. I’m also going to buy the comic. Because it looks also awesome. I’ve never read comics (except for one of my friend’s issues of Sandman which totally scarred me (this was about three years ago)), but I’m getting this one and, Buffy Season 8, so we’ll see. (I’m trying to up my geek cred, but I’m not sure sticking to comics that are also TV shows is going to help.)

Things I Want the Internet to Have June 8, 2008

Hi from the past! I just thought of something that I wanted to write, but I am spacing it out so it won’t get posted until I’m in New Orleans. I know, I am so sneaky. But I realized that one of the things I want from the internet is a website where I can have a garden. I live in an apartment, and I really want a place where I can plant pretend flowers and then look at them. Also take care of them, and have fountains and trees and paths, and all that good stuff. If anyone reading this knows of a website (or a free or pirate-able Mac friendly app) where I can do this, please tell me at once. Alternately if you are a web-developer type and you want to make something like this, please send me a beta invite.

The other thing that I wish for from the internet is a recipe website, where you can log all the ingredients in your kitchen, then it will find recipes that only use ingredients that you already have. That doesn’t seem like it would be that hard to make, right? Because I would really like to cook with the random shit I already have, instead of having to go and buy more stuff.

UPDATE: I found the recipe website! It’s supercook.com, and it’s very easy to use. Mu only complaint is that you can’t search the recipes it brings up, but you can narrow them by any of the ingredients you have. Thank you internet.

I Find Titles Confining (this is a lie, i just never think of good ones) June 5, 2008

Hi internet people! I know I have been gone for a long time, and I’m sure you have missed me terribly, but I have been working very hard, and then I went to Boston for my sister’s graduation, and tomorrow I am going to New Orleans for the weekend. That’s right, I am a jetsetter. I am supposed to be cleaning my apartment today, because I am going on a trip and it is a total mess because I’ve been wrapping all the clothes from the movie I just finished in here, and because I didn’t clean it before the movie started or before I went to Boston. I also need to do my laundry today. But I am not doing any of that because there are people in my apartment doing mysterious maintenance things (they are not here right now, they went to lunch), and I feel weird cleaning my house while they are banging around in my kitchen and bathroom. I actually feel weird doing anything but sitting at my computer, I am just not used to random people being in my house, I always feel weird around contractors, like I should get out of their way and not sit around reading while they’re working. But my plan for today is; clean, laundry, finish disk 4 of Buffy season 7 (and put it in the mail), shower, pack, and go to sleep early. The plan includes the possibility of leaving the house and going to the post office, but that probably won’t happen now, since I’m putting actual work off until my apartment is free of people.

Update: So I just went into my bathroom, and the maintenance people put up my towel rack! It’s been
sitting on the floor since I bought it six months ago.  (Of course, now I don’t know how to get it down, but I don’t really care.)  They also fixed my sink so it drains, and made my window that was stuck shut open.  Do I suspect that they did all this because my lease is up in a month?  Yes.  Do I care?  No.  Am I going to go clean now?  Yes, yes I am.

Things I’ve Seen This Week May 9, 2008

• A cop car pulling over a mail truck
• A motorcycle cop pulling over a bicyclist
• The purple trees blooming.  This is one of the reasons I love living in LA, there are tons of flowering trees.  These ones have bright purple flowers all over, they bloom before they leaf out, and they’re all over the place.
• Zero television episodes.  I’ve been crazy busy with work, I had today off, but I still had to run wok related errands.  But I am going to rectify this at once, and see how much I can watch before I fall asleep again.

Insecurity Disguised as Introspection May 1, 2008

Let me just preface this by saying that I spent 25 minutes stuck in traffic, just trying to get on the freeway.  And I was starving and missing Lost and tired from running around all day and stressing out about my life.  And I wanted to kill myself.  Once I got on the freeway it only took about five minutes to clear the place where the accident had been (which allowed me to stop wondering why so god damn many people were driving from Hollywood into the Valley at 10 on a Thursday night) and once I could finally drive above 30 MPH I never wanted to stop.  I rolled my window down, and cranked my radio up, and I just wanted to keep driving.  I didn’t of course because I also wanted to get out of my car and have some chocolate liqueur milk (which is very tasty and which will be to blame if this post becomes even more incoherent than usual).  Alcohol is not my preferred method of de-stressing, but my boy is out of town for a month and a half for work (since we’ve been dating he’s been out of town more often than he’s been here).

So before I was losing my shit in traffic (I normally deal well with traffic, it’s just when I’m tired and stressed that I can’t deal) I was freaking out about my “career”.  I’m good on set, and I’m great as an assistant,  but I kind of hate doing the prep work, and I’m afraid that I suck at designing.  And it stresses me out that I like what I’m doing now, but I’m on a track towards something that I don’t like (and am not good at).  I feel great after 12 hours on set, but 8 hours of driving around and shopping; and I’m ready to put a bullet in somebody’s head.  Why can’t I just marry a nice rich guy and raise some kids in a little house by the ocean?  Alternately I could just give up and get some retail job, but if I’m going to have a soul-killing job, it might as well be one that people are impressed by.  (And that pays more than $8 an hour, although I’m still working for less than that now.)  I don’t know, my chocolate milk is all gone, and I’m still all tied up in knots.  I should eat some real food, but everything I have needs to be cooked.

Meanwhile, back in topics that are not totally depressing, there was a very cute actor in the short that I was working on this week.  I think a big part of it was that the character was that shy, smart, nerdy boy that I really like.  And he had this great dance that was very Singin’ in the Rain inspired, that just looked like all those 1950’s Gene Kelly dances which I love.  But he was at least a little objectively cute too, because while I was watching him dance I thought “wow, he has a really cute ass.”  And I never think that.  The butt as an erotic object totally baffles me, I usually do not think anyone’s ass is cute, so this was a big breakthrough in parts of the body that I find attractive.  (I usually find the upper body attractive; chest, arms, back: yum).  So now that you know more than you ever wanted to about my insecurities and turn-ons, I am going to go watch How I Met Your Mother because I didn’t tape Lost and it’s not online yet.